This will be the first installment of my first actual photographic Project. As written on my profile showcasing the project:

I’ve been a big fan of Tori Amos for years. The riddling, emotive, piercing songs had been a quiet motivation for some of my imagery for a while…until it finally clicked that I would love doing a series based specifically on her songs. This is the result.

Concertina was actually shot before I knew I’d be devoting imagery directly to The Tori Project. Lela Rae and I had actually gotten quite hooked on the song during a NY trip we’d had with Sarah.

It was only afterward that I realized that the piercing story wound within Lela’s eyes in this shot spoke the very line of lyrics that I overlayed on the image: “I run into your thought from across the room.”

So, this became the first official, unofficial  image of The Tori Project.

Mistress Purgatori had Jess, a close model friend of hers, visiting from Pennsylvania. They’d wanted to get some playful shots…both silly and naughty. It was a remarkably fun evening and, thanks to my roommate bringing it up, I finally got to make use of the sauna in the apartment complex’s weight room area. Here are a few of the not-so-naughty shots from that evening!

As an existential nihilist, I hold no concept of karma other than that which I would effect by my own hand. Circumstance, however, tastes fortuitously sweet right now.

So much for those glass houses of yours.

Over the last few weeks, Tyler, the owner of ModelMayhem.com has been recruiting submissions for a new header image. I submitted mine on 1/20/08 and I was rather gladly surprised to see it attract a decent bit of praise.

Yesterday (or the day before? I need to stop losing track of days…) I received a message from Tyler, confirming that it was indeed going live. So…I’m, quite happy! The model in the image, Jessalyn, is an absolute doll. I wrote about her on the site:

“She’s one of a handful of models on here that deserve the spotlight. She’s proof you can make this site into something incredible for yourself.

Inspiration that says you can be a little girl in the middle of Kansas, shorter than 5′8″ with tattoos and still make your way towards agency representation while working with some of the most amazing photographic talent there is.”

On a slight sidenote, one Toronto-based photographer was so “enamored” with the shot, he took the time to send me a private message suggesting he felt like quitting the site because of it.

I really wanted to reply on the verge of “tears”, begging him not to leave *snicker*…but friends suggested I just leave the silliness in solitary confinement.

Funny thing is…that message (along with other things) actually put me in a good mood. Maybe I’ll put “Professional Hack Photographer” back into my profile on there so I don’t mislead people into having unrealistically lofty expectations anymore!

Nicotine prodded at me recently about shooting a few promotional shots for latex designer Ego Assassin. It had been some time since we’d gotten together at all, so it was fun seeing her get excited about shooting. The item was just a pair of latex undies with a cute image of a stitched up heart with the words “Damaged Goods” bannered across the front. Here are a couple of the results from that:

But, of course we couldn’t  go a day of shooting without mixing in other fun stuff. It was a bit chilly outside, but we snuck in a few shots while the sun was providing some warmth before heading indoors into more comfortable settings.

Almost a week ago I was supposed to update with more images from my shoot with Rachel. I think it’s about time I caught up.

Maybe I’ve just become too old and jaded. It’s started to bug me that a good portion of my recent additions here are some form of negativity, reaction to it or not. Perhaps my expectations of others are unrealistic…but the list of people with whom I can share artistry and feel completely free is growing thinner.

I view myself as an artist. I don’t have a “rate”…I don’t even know that I want one. I don’t really want to pimp my name out ad nauseam so that I can garner enough exposure to start listing payment fees that I can be bought at. What will that make me? A “professional”? Meh.

The word only describes how your financial income pie-chart is divided and how much of it is fractioned off to photography. It says nothing about the motivations of the “professional”…the depth of their art…how personal it is to them. There are “professionals” who have a clear, pure vision and genuine life to their work and then there are “professionals” who clearly just whored their name and work out for enough exposure to be able to say they’re limiting their TFP and can be paid for their time according to X number(s). I don’t want to be that person. I learned a while back how to discern people for whom the art is primary on the other side of the lens…perhaps it’s starting to fall into place the type of people to whom it applies on this side.

I don’t want to be purchased. I want to be inspired. Pay me that way.

And, yet again…I feel like I’m succumbing to negativity. Or maybe I’m trying to convince myself I’m not quite as much the misanthrope I really am. Granted, finding out that certain people feel motivated to turn personal/private issues in my life into public crusades of their own does kind of fuel my propensity for ire…but that really shouldn’t be what this all is about.

On the bright side, these experiences are probably going to launch a project I have in mind. Now, to get it rolling, I’ll just need to transcend another idiosyncrasy of mine…

procrastination.